HOW TO MAKE LOVE TO A GRIFFIN

HOW TO MAKE LOVE TO A GRIFFIN

     The dudes who found him wandering naked across the Kalahari desert still fondly recall his fixation on his lost pecker.

‘ I lost Pete, man. I  fucking lost Pete’. lost  mylast best friend old Pete out there! How can I go home to my wife and explain myself without Pete to back me up and her too. “‘

     According to the three wise guys who found Hogarth with  a cross staked to his back in the Kalahari desert  this was all he kept saying before he passed out. 

      He was clearly tripping since no one had actually cut his dick off. 

Not yet anyway.  

     It wouldn’t be until a year later that Hogarth recalled why he’d felt that way at the time and made to recognize that  sometimes hallucinations do come true.

     In the desert the three wise guys had told him they were  be his oldest and dearest friends–mainly just to help orient him. In the desert they’d introduced themselves as Stuart, Mathhew and Allen. 

     You were you and they were they but even in his enhanced state he knew he didn’t know any of them from the proverbial Adam.  

 Some things just don’t ring true even when youre all the way out your gotdam mind. 

 

     All the same these three good-natured  wise guys had brought him  home from  the desert. 

    They also related to his wife  that  while in the most extreme stages of  delirium he’d kept insisting that it was his intention to ‘’ change the nature of the beast.’’ 

    Unfortunaltey as time went on he realized the beast had beaten Hogarth  to the punch and changed the nature of Hogarth first.

    Chopped him down, poked him full of holes and left him hanging out there in the land of the bushman, Earth’ first people. 

  

       He’d  gone to the Kalahari a man, and in his estimation one  macho  stud of a man at that.  

      One morning three weeks after his return to wife and hearth and home  he began morphing into what would become the sleek form of an aristocratic Filipino woman. 

   He didn’t lose Pete so much as watch Pete shrivel and shrink into a lump of clay. 

     One day he looked down there and realized old one eyed Pete had lost sight of him forever. 

  Samuel Hogarth became Samantha H.

    That was only the beginning though.

Turned out The Beast had  even more jokes in store for Hogarth. 

     The coup grace, the piece de resistance, the absolute muthafukka arrived via  the discovery that not only had he been forced to undergo a sex change but that he was also suddenly six months pregnant. Burdended to birth an inhuman  lovechild deposited in his new womb by The Beast.

    His  first thought was naturally abortion.

But turned out that the mutation he  was carrying was not only not-human but indestructible. Its amniotic fluid  sac was some kind of liquid metal pod. The thing that could be seen  inside had a human face, the body of a lion, and the tiny wings of a hummingbird. 

     The thing growing inside Samuel Hogarth nee  Samantha H was a creature the world had heretofore only known through Greek mythology  as some thing called a Griffin.

     The Griffin  growing inside wouldn’t let Samantha H commit infanticide or suicide. 

It wouldn’t even allow him to maintain those thoughts for too long 

    By the time Hogarth was restored to  civilization thing Griffins growing in the bodies of men was on the verge of  becoming a commonplace event.

     The Beast had ben  busy and would soon see the world populated by swarms of  pod grown Griffin babies.

    

   Not long after Hogarth was  returned to Brooklyn his wife was visited by an advisor from the Organization of Griffin Rights. 

  Wifey was informed about adoption options for single parents and co-parenting possibilities with other mothers who were helping for rear their husbands Griffin children. 

    

     The Wifey  was told some families  had opted to return to the Kalihari desert and start an asylum community there. 

   The catch was going there required you give up your US citizenship.

    The Beast it seems had only impregnated Americans, even in Africa.

    Thus did our nation became within a quarter century of Hogarth’s return the world had become a place full of misbegotten griffin infants  and only a few other species besides your typical  post-apocalyptic bestiary of roaches cats horses cows pigs and dogs.